Talking about parenting is one of my favorite things to do. I seriously could talk about it all day. I went to school for Child and Family Development and found such a passion in learning about the impact of positive parenting on a child’s development and the implications it has on their adult life. After college, I completed my research internship at a group home for children in foster care and I really learned a lot about the significance of mindful parenting. I also really realized the lack of education or experience most people have in child development. A basic understanding of child development has such a major impact on the way one parents.
Mindful parenting is focused on teaching not punishing our children. It is focused on building a strong foundation of attachment and trust that our children feel secure in exploring this world and their emotions. It is important that we refocus our expectations for them and not focus on demanding behaviors from them that we haven’t even mastered as adults. Our goal is to model the behaviors we want them to encompass and try to lead by example. We are still learning to regulate our behaviors on a daily basis that we can’t punish them for not having it perfected yet. It is important to acknowledge their feelings and teach them how to deal with them and how to move forward from there. To do that we need to take a step back and analyze the situation instead of reacting quickly.
Parenting is hard. There is nothing that makes it easier. To be honest I think mindful parenting is even harder in the sense that it requires more patience, attention and understanding. My thoughts on mindful parenting is literally in the name. You have to slow down and be present in the moments. No one is going to be perfect at it and there will always be ways to cut corners and just get through the day fastest without losing your mind. And that is OKAY. We are human, not superheros. However, I think it is important to continue to try to understand your child and their development so you can try to implement positive parenting techniques as you learn.
There are so many times, especially since having Kaiverly, that something comes up and I know how I would want to handle it as a parenting specialist but it is just not the right set up to allow me to handle that way so I end up just taking the easy way out. For example, Evie is not sharing a toy or whining and obviously having a hard time but I am nursing Kaiverly, I want to stop nursing and go help him to regulate those big feelings BUT it is easier to let him just not share in that moment because I don’t want to stop feeding Kaiverly because I know she is really hungry. That is a very loose example but I hope you understand what I mean. Moms are spread so thin. Moms carry a lot of weight in a family whether they work or stay at home. There are a thousand other things all moms have to do and worry about. Moms are so busy putting everyone else’s needs above their own. I mean we are lucky if we get a shower, let alone enough sleep, water, exercise, me-time, time with friends or for a hobby or anything else that helps with a our mental health as a mother. Although self-care is another topic I wanna touch on, my point is that mothers are already so spent that taking on mindful parenting is a lot so it does help to have a community or a support system that can help to encourage you when it gets hard. It is also great to find new resources and continue educating yourself because the more you immerse yourself in it, the easier it will be to retrain yourself to take a step back and use mindful parenting techniques than to just react.